Over the past couple of days, I have been empathizing with the little Lego people a whole lot. While they cause heaps of pain when tread on, I started thinking of their futile battle against the vacuum cleaner which sucks them in with absolute ease.

Why and how did this thought process come about? It all started about a week or so after my surgery – so about 3 weekends ago. I received a text message from my brother-in-law. He said that he had heard that I had gone for surgery and asked me how I was. Now this was extremely surprising as he had not bothered to call or send me a text after my surgery in October because he had returned to my Narcissistic sister and heaven help him if he kept in contact with me since I ignored her friend request on Facebook! I only got the obligatory Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

I started to feel a sense of unease at that message which to me seemed out of the blue. I knew instinctively that there had been another issue with the Narcissistic sister. He sent me another message 2 weekends ago, again asking me how I was. Told him that was going good (even though I wasn’t), but he didn’t need to know that! My responses were short and abrupt, straight to the point and I didn’t even ask him how he was because I was pretty convinced by then that there was trouble a-brewing in New Zealand. Nope, been there, done that. Was nothing but a total waste of time and WAY too much heartache – so much that I’m still reeling from it 4 years down the track – along with all the other bullshit that I had to put up with over my lifetime.

Two days ago, I got another message. (That man can be as thick as a brick sometimes! He couldn’t understand that I wanted to be left alone!) As usual, my replies were short and abrupt. After the third message, he finally asked me if I was angry with him because I sounded cold. BOOM! HE FINALLY GOT IT! I told him that I was more cautious than angry since he was back with my Narcissistic sister and that I didn’t want to get blamed for anything because I was done being the scapegoat.

Apparently that’s all he needed to see to tell me that my sister had kicked him out of the house again as soon as my mother left New Zealand. Typical of Narcissists, it’s all about keeping their fake image intact. She had to show my Narcissistic mother that she lived in a perfect little bubble. It’s really, really frustrating when I can see things that are going to happen and yet no one listens when I try to warn them. So my brother-in-law made his bed, he’ll just have to lie in it.

He also told me that he had been staying in a backpackers hostel for the past week and had been in a mental ward for the past 3 days. He also took great pains to tell me how many and what pills he had swallowed. Of course he had to add that he wasn’t telling me this to get any sympathy from me, but just thought I should know. I wonder why he thought this was relevant to me in any way, shape or form. In case you haven’t guessed, he is a Narcissist himself. It’s only been really recently that I have discovered all the subtle manipulations by him – after discussions with the hubby.

Just like Dean and Sammie’s EMF machine (from Supernatural), I’ve developed a NBS machine – a Narcissist Bull Shit machine. So far, the machine seems to be working quite well. All it took was lots and lots of reading and researching on the characteristics, traits and behaviour of Narcissists. Everyone has a bit of Narcissism in them. So I usually observe a person and take a few readings before lumping them with the junk pile.

My reply to my brother-in-law was that while I was sorry to hear what had happened, he wasn’t going to get any sympathy from me because what he did was selfish and self-centred. Hadn’t he thought about his 2 teenage kids? I had spent hours and hours on the phone with him, while he was crying and complaining about my Narcissistic sister and how badly she was treating him. All that time wasted while I was at family gatherings and I’d sneak off to stroke his ego. How stupid was I? But never again. All I can say now is that they’re as bad as each other – no wonder they had a whirlwind romance and got married. It’s my niece and nephew that I feel sympathy for.

I guess my point is this. The vacuum cleaner (read brother-in-law) is trying to suck me into all the shit again. But this time, this Lego person is fully armed for battle and I say, “Bring it on! I’m NOT getting sucked in! Tread on me and you’ll be the one hurting!”

  1. bellam979 says:

    They’re like mushrooms, just pop up out of no where and you KNOW something stinks! The latest contact didn’t disappoint, only 2 days post recovery. Getting better. I’m maintaining low contact for my own sanity and I can almost predict when I’ll get a message and then blamed for not calling them at the same time along with revelations of her hatefulness towards me.

  2. bellam979 says:

    No more getting sucked in for me either. I have to go my separate way, they are too unhealthy and painful. Time to dust off the feet. I’ve grieved too long. They could not handle what I woul like to say to them, so I am going to honor mother by keeping away so I won’t say these things. Same w sister. They have each other, they don’t need me and have made that clear. No more scapegoat here either.

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